H.O.G.S.

Flirting.  Few people think they do it well.  If someone does believe they flirt like a champion, he often is delusional.  Many people who do not believe they flirt well are actually masters of it.  It is a skill that is often misunderstood and broken down into cliché actions or reactions.  I personally hate when […]

More Random than a Random

No one seems to enjoy the blogs where I share random little thoughts that have gone through my head in the past week.  So why not do it again until it seeps into your collective brains like a radio commercial for charitable car donations?  Five bucks to first person to guess what song I parodied […]

But No Incredible Incest

I like taking innocent cultural references and turning them dirty.  It amuses me.  I do not just do it with shows, movies, or music I hate.  I slam my own favorites into my pervert filter and giggle at what comes out.  For example, my favorite Disney-Pixar movie is The Incredibles.  Forget the sappiness of Toy […]

Are you Ready?

Hey there, beautiful.  I know you do not see yourself as such, but you are – especially when you smile.  Your eyes sparkle when you do, and now your cheeks are becoming that soft pink blush that truly sets you apart.  You do not need to worry about your curves; they seem perfect to me.  […]

The Honoree

Why exactly do we celebrate birthdays after turning 21?  After we can finally do all the things society says can only be done by an adult, is there a reason for celebrating another orbit around the sun?  Seems a bit gruesome to me to say, “Hey, congratulations on not dying yet!  Here’s some diabetes causing […]

The Canadian

It’s amazing how many of us know someone who has used the lie about his girlfriend living somewhere far away.  Americans use it to avoid the truth of being a virgin but I have to wonder, “Where do Canadian imaginary lovers live?”  My guess is Guam.  There are many lovely ladies there.  Or Iceland! My […]

The Penny

So many times I’ve seen people get so drunk they pass out.  I love booze.  I’m a fireball fan myself.  But I’ve never been so drunk that my friends would have the opportunity to draw a penis on my face or take embarrassing pictures.  I once had a gal pal who got plastered, and this […]