If at first you do not succeed, maybe you should be at second.

I guess we just have to agree to disagree about how wrong you are.

Every cloud has a silver-based ink on its composite board to create electrical pathways.

God Bless Atheistic Non-Americans!

Sharing is caring, so peeping ain’t creeping.

Looking on the bright side causes blindness.

It is what it is, except for paradoxes.

What does not kill you was obviously not trying hard enough.

The customer is always right-handed because we reserve the right to deny service to left-handed demon spawn.

Time heals all wounds, but is not on the approved physician list for your insurance plan.

There is someone out there for every murderer.

It is not rocket science, it is aerospace engineering.

Good girls cum to those who wait.

Money can buy anti-depressants.

Live each moment as if it is six weeks before your last.

Great minds think, “Alike?  Hell no!”

I am just telling you someone else’s personal opinion.

Follow your bliss only if it has a GPS app.

What goes up is moving away from one surface towards another.  It just rarely makes it to the other surface.

There is no U in team either.

Age is just a number feeling.

Tomorrow is another yesterday.

Think inside the wrapping paper.

With all due respect, I am about to disrespect you.

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions because Congress could not agree on an appropriate budget allotment for transportation.

Laugh and the world finds it offensive; cry and the world finds it offensive.

Patience is a stripper’s name.

No matter what you do, it is always insignificant in the grand scheme of the Universe.  So make it fun for you.

 

 

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