No Net? No Sweat!

Sometimes random is fun.  On a whim, I decided to search the term “no nets” in my favorite search engine.  Wham-o!  Things I never knew existed were brought before my eyes.

  • A brand of male swimwear called NoNetz.  Apparently, men were having chafing issues with swim trunks with the net lining holding up their junk.  So this brilliant company designed fashionable trunks without that lining.  The photo of the boys in their swim wear was a little creepy (think pedophile from Idaho uploading the picture and the company saying, “Sure, that works!”) and the number one reason the company gives for buying their trunks is, “Better Vacations,” so perhaps I had stumbled onto some weird underground prank site.  On the plus side, these trunks are supposed to also have functioning drawstrings.  Thank goodness, there is finally a brand of swim trunks with working drawstrings instead of all those brands where the drawstrings were just decorative.
  • There is a rock band with the name No Nets.  I watched/listened to their video for a song called California Weather.  I did not believe I would ever hear a band whose lead singer was harder to understand than Nirvana’s, but I was wrong.  He sounded like he was chewing a wad of bubble gum, while rolling marbles around on his tongue, while his head was stuck under water, while trying to imitate whale mating calls.  Definitely not my brand of Rock n’ Roll.  Too much Roll, not enough Rock and virtually no n’.
  • There are the Nonet Bakugan.  Do not ask me, I tried clicking the lick.  It is an anime, these bad guys show up in the fourth season, there are different story arcs… just give me good old fashioned Dragonball and Space Battleship Yamato.

There you go, completely pointless information found on a whimsical search.  It was completely random and had absolutely nothing to do with anything.


A nonet poem is a nine line poem which starts with nine syllables in the first line, and gradually drops one syllable for each line until you reach one.  It is a pretty basic concept and poetic structure, and is a recent development in poetry with no famous contributors.  Therefore, you cannot really mess it up and write a crappy one because no one has written a beautiful one that is taught in every frivolous English class.  Sounds like the perfect poetic structure for me!

I dreamed of being Luke Skywalker,
using the Force to save the world,
or just pushing back bullies,
to make my life less bland.
A Jedi daydream.
Then we found out
his sister 
kissed him.

Does Destiny have map reading skills?
Or did Fate download Google Maps
and forget to switch walking
directions for driving?
Cause the bitch is late.
Soon we will leave
and She’ll just
miss the

I know of a quiet nymph who has
the most beautiful vagina
any twenty-nine year old
has ever been blessed with
in the history
of Photoshop.
It ain’t bad
up close

If any of you are wondering why my last blog was a bit more serious and this one is more of a fun-filled lark through Crazy-ville, there is a perfectly reasonable explanation.  Weed makes me philosophical and melancholy… and a bit giggly, but that does not come out well in my blog-writing.  So my last blog was written during my celebration of 4/20 (broken up by a nap and munchies attack) and this blog was written 99.5% sober.

Maybe next time I will try the Earnest Hemingway method and drink a fifth of Jack Daniels before angrily pounding away at my keyboard.  I would do the Ron Jeremy method of writing, but think all the movement and sweating would distract me overly much.  Until next time… keep buying copies of my books so you can torture your friends and family with terrible pieces of literature!  You know that English teach in high school that you hated because she made you read Romeo and Juliet?  Buy her copies as revenge so her head will explode!  Once again, here’s a link to the collection of poetry.  I am sure you smart Internet users can find the other book from there too.

Remember, all proceeds go to my imaginary daughter’s pet poodle’s kidney transplant.  So sad what Miss Fluffy-Bottom is going through.


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