Seven months ago I had a stroke of genius, lost it, decided to post a blog about the beauty of feet, planned to continue the series, and then promptly forgot all about it. Then I smoked some (completely legal here!) pot and totally remembered that I once ate mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches when I was a kid. The sandwich made me think of disgusting things, which reminded me of this series, and here we go again!
Last time was feet.. in all their ignored glory. Such beautiful parts of our human body. So it is only logical that the next installment focus on another anatomical extreme: penises. But since it is hard to convince people to send me pictures of their dicks – because I am not an attractive female on an online dating site – I guess I will go with my second idea and discuss the beauty of hands.
People are always worried about the shape of their hands. This particular model claimed her hands were shaped like starfish. Does anyone see a starfish there? Maybe it looks a little like a sea urchin, but not a starfish. And look how much you can learn about a person just by seeing her hand. She is well-groomed, but not overly concerned with cosmetics. She is not shy, but feels awkward about being thought of as a sexual being. She has faith, but it is not more important than her friends.
Any gentlemen interested in dating the model above should comment below with his qualifications. I will sift through the applicants and pass on any I approve of to the lovely gal, who will promptly ignore my approvals and continue working on herself.
Hands are used to express our affection for others. We hold hands with those we do not want to leave. They are almost like a leash, without the BDSM implications (which makes them a little more appropriate in public). Notice how in each of those pictures it is the woman’s left hand and the man’s right hand. That is because men are always right in heterosexual, monogamous, Christian-based relationships. Which is why I am in heterosexual, polyamorous, Spiritual-adjacent relationships… I am not always right (just mostly).
Hands are very important for the sexual side of romance as well. In fact, our hands are probably the second-most sexually used part of our body. Heavy petting, pinching, scratching, stroking, grasping, tugging, pulling, choking, lifting, spreading, fiddling, spanking, fisting… okay, I lost my train of thought there. Point is, even the most vanilla of us use our hands to bring pleasure to ourselves and our partners. While some may find discussing such a thing distasteful, it is just another part of the beauty of our hands.
Hands are so beautiful, we decorate hand-held objects with more hands. We wear gloves, bracelets, and rings to draw attention to our hands. Women spend hours and hundreds of dollars to have their fingernails painted throughout a year. Hand lotion is the most commonly purchased skin care product, because we can live with acne and stretch marks and scars… but fuck no, we will not deal with coarse palms. Hell, one of the first art projects we teach young children is turning a trace of their hands into a Thanksgiving day turkey!
So here is to your hands… those hardworking, pain-absorbing, finger-flipping, orgasm-giving, knee-slapping, happy-clapping, itch-scratching, hair-pulling marvels of beauty that we sometimes forget.