Rudolph got run over by my grandma
Flying home to rest up with his peers
You might think it crazy she was up there
But she and Santa have been shacking up for years.

She’d met him at a swap meet down in Texas
Grandma says it was lust at first sight
Misses Claus isn’t into poly
So Kris and Granny sneak around at night.

Rudolph landed gently at the North Pole
Not knowing he would be in the way
Misses Claus had come home early
So Granny was escaping on a sleigh.

Rudolph got run over by my grandma
Flying home to rest up with his peers
You might think it crazy she was up there
But she and Santa have been shacking up for years.

Other reindeer say they saw it coming
Granny in her see-through negligee
Driving madly over a snowbank
Not seeing poor Rudolph eating hay.

The sleigh skis crushed him in a second
No time to even scream or shriek in pain
No one would have heard him anyways
Misses Claus was yelling words quite profane (quite profane!)

Rudolph got run over by my grandma
Flying home to rest up with his peers
You might think it crazy she was up there
But she and Santa have been shacking up for years.

When the elf police arrived at the scene
Santa and the wife were quite composed
The cops knew it was all a cover
Cause Santa’s candy cane was still exposed.

There’s an arrest warrant out for Grandma
Santa swears the two of them are through
But I don’t really think they’re over
Cause my grandma loves anything taboo.

Rudolph got run over by my grandma
Flying home to rest up with his peers
You might think it crazy she was up there
But she and Santa have been shacking up for years.
Happy Fornicating!

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