I want to be crystal clear:  I love being alive.  I love waking up to the smell of rain.  I love feeling the pounding of my heart after a good action movie.  I love going down between a woman’s legs and burrowing my face into her dripping wet… well, you know.  I even love being stuck in traffic when a song comes over the radio that takes me back to 1988 and I start belting out the lyrics (completely wrong, of course) and get stared at by the other drivers next to me.  Alive is wonder and excitement and adventure every moment, if you are willing to forget what you have been taught by the downcast masses who insist everyday life is a mundane grind.

Which is why I hate having to be alive around other people.

There is a show on Fox called, “Last Man on Earth.”  It is a terrible show with a completely misleading title because by the fifth episode the main character discovers he is not the last man on Earth.  I stopped watching it immediately after that revelation.  I have seen commercials of the continuing stupidity in the show and there are now plenty of men on Earth, and yet the show has not changed its name.  But, my point is I would love to have been that “Last Man on Earth” depicted in the first episode.  Driving an R.V. across the country.  Going anywhere and doing anything I wanted without someone telling me all the reasons I should be doing something else instead.  Sure, I would miss putting my head between a woman’s legs and… well, you know.  But I think the quiet appreciation I would have for simple existence would make up for it.

But no, I have to exist around people who want to argue about a flag, national anthem, and formerly decent athlete not standing up.  And by “formerly decent” athlete I am referring to his actual playing ability, not the content of his soul.

To those who are irate over this athlete “not showing respect,” the American Flag represents only those in military service.  “He’s disrespecting our soldiers who are fighting for his right to blah blah.”  You, Fake Patriotism Asshole, are wrong.  The flag represents all American citizens, not just those in the military.  The flag is not simply a banner of war, but is a banner of education, science, agriculture, and industry.  It is a symbol of not only what is great about our country, but what is wrong with our country.  Our flag flew over Japanese internment camps during World War II, when America unlawfully imprisoned citizens of Japanese descent out of ignorance and fear.  Our flag was at the forefront of the brutal treatment our European-descent forefathers inflicted on Native American tribes. Our flag is flown proudly by racists, rapists, intolerant theists, and idiots as often as it is flown by the brave, charitable, and wise.

So I am okay with a person choosing not to stand in respect of the flag because I am honest enough to realize that America is not always perfect and maybe sometimes, for some people, the symbol of America does not deserve respect.  It is just an individual’s opinion, one that does not have to alter your personal pride in the same symbol.  The fact that I do not pray as my in-laws say grace over a meal does not mean I do not respect their beliefs, nor does the fact they do pray mean they do not respect mine (although I would wager they have less respect for my beliefs than I have for theirs).  The fact that Colin Kaepernick does not stand for the National Anthem does not imply a lack of respect for America’s military, or values, or freedoms.  Just as you standing for the National Anthem does not imply you approve of the Japanese internment, Native American deaths, or racial bias some believe still exists.

And by the way, as someone who has attended many a sporting event in his lifetime, there are always people in line at the concessions, or in the bathrooms, or simply walking to their seats during the anthem.  Are they all disrespecting our flag?  Are they, simply by purchasing a beer or taking a shit, showing disdain for our military?  Will you, Fake Patriotism Asshole, be at every game to police the bathrooms and demand those in a stall stand up because the anthem is playing?  Because no one seems to have a problem with those examples of ignoring the forced national pride on display.

You just seem to care that an athlete did not stand because he had a social and moral objection to a part of what America is.  And because you have these rose-colored shit- framed glasses on, where everything about America looks perfect and great, you get angry at the messenger when he points out everything is not great.

And this is just one example of how people are, more often than not, a bunch of dumb, electrical socket fucking, shit banana eating, brain-damned biscuit curlers.  And the fact that I have been dragged down into this, and other, pissing contests over absolutely-fucking-nothing important makes me hate myself just as much as I hate people.  Crap like this makes me yearn for the future day when I die and will be blissfully ignorant of all the dumbassery that will continue beyond my lifetime.

But I do love life.  Especially when I put my head between… well, you know.

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