It’s been a bit longer than I anticipated from my last update. I’ll be honest, I was going to post some “artistic” pictures of ladies with road signs on their faces. I had thought it was clever and witty to put a “Dead End” sign over the face of the woman who dumped me for unknown reasons, or a “Cattle Crossing” sign over the face of a former lover who went back to her abusive ex and moved to Texas. But every time I attempted to post the blog, even with some photos filled more with love than anger, I simply felt as if I was making a rash decision based on hurt and frustration at the terrible year I’ve been having.
Instead, in the spirit of happy thoughts and better days, I’ve decided to share some photos I’ve recently found hidden in some files that I had completely forgotten. And to be fair, I must give credit to my beloved lady (Hi Cheri!) who is doing her own photo project – the joy she obviously has looking through her old photos inspired me to do the same.
Here’s a photo of my wife (Hi Denise!) and I on our trip to Tokyo. Notice that while I’m looking at the camera, she’s checking out the Scarlett Johansson look-alike crossing the street. We did ask her for her autograph… turned out to be a guy from Iowa named Chris.
On our way back from Japan, our plane got hijacked by some intergalactic criminals. Eventually, we found ourselves prisoners on a strange planet – until I managed to win our freedom by beating a fierce Rancor. Wife is laughing because I was covered in Rancor shit afterwards.
This old photo is from my girlfriend and I traveled back in time and spent a weekend at a nude beach in pre-World War II France. She’d just gone swimming and I had spent a lovely afternoon chatting with some woman named Edith Piaf. I think she was a singer, but I didn’t pay much attention once Hotty McCuddles came out of the water and hugged me.
I once directed a small indie film called, “Desert Deviants.” Here is the star, a former lover of mine, in front of the motel we used as a set. Ashton Kutcher actually auditioned, but I found his acting a bit over-the-top for a quasi-pornographic depiction of my imaginary summer vacation of 1995.
Finally, a picture of my newly ex-girl after she captured the Enterprise-D from Picard and his idiot crew. I can’t believe she managed to kick Worf’s ass while only wearing my shirt. Klingons are wimps when you see them up close. The ex then conquered a primitive planet and had herself named Empress Lying Bitch.
Okay… so little pain still needed to be lanced. Sue me.