The More You Argue, The More I Laugh

Yes, I have returned after a month away.  And in honor of Hanukkah, I will be adding a blog post for EIGHT days straight!  Get ready to see all the weirdness I’ve been storing up since the end of October and Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish peeps around the world!

I’m still being bombarded by Facebook posts from women about public breastfeeding.  Why do I have to suffer through your self-righteous rampage when I could care less about the cause?  You want to breastfeed in public – I don’t care.  You don’t want me to stare – tough shit, it’s called “public” for a reason.  Believe me, I’m not staring in judgment but in jealousy of your child that gets to enjoy a boob in the restaurant.

Even with federal laws protecting your right to whip out your milk-maker and have an infant attach itself, you still claim discrimination and martyrdom.  So you give me no choice really.  I’m going to have to once again make the public statement that annoys you lactating loonies more than MILF porn sites.

If breastfeeding can be done in public, why can’t we urinate in public?  Watch how easily I take your pro-breastfeeding propaganda and replace key words with public urination vocabulary to make the exact same argument.  It’s really a mind-blowing experience.


Earlier today I posted this picture of myself urinating uncovered in a public restaurant. In the picture, it appears I’m staring off into the distance. In reality, I’m staring into the eyes of a woman staring at me. She is looking at me with disgust and shaking her head with judgment in an attempt to shame me and indirectly tell me without words that I am wrong and need to cover myself.

Let me make my reasoning clear on why I post pictures of myself urinating uncovered.

I don’t mean to say “Everyone should urinate without a cover. Show the world your urethra!” If a woman is more comfortable covering herself because SHE feels better doing so, then I totally support that.

With that being said, the reason I post these types pictures is for the woman that tried urinating uncovered once and she got shamed, she got stared and pointed at, she got nasty comments, she got asked to leave the room, she got asked to cover up.

You should not ever feel shamed, belittled, embarrassed or wrong for urinating the way nature intended. I do this for the person that has the mentality “Genitalia are to be covered. They’re for your husbands eyes only. They’re intimate. It’s a personal/private thing to urinate. Cover up out of respect. My kids don’t need to see that. Walk out of the room.” and any other derogatory, close minded comments and sentiments alike.

Again,  genitalia were made to eliminate waste before they were made to bring pleasure to any other man, woman, partner or spouse. Their primary purpose is to expel waste from your body. There is nothing weird about this and there’s no difference in me urinating on the grass and you walking inside to use a toilet.

Secondly, it is exponentially unfair and selfish to ask a person to exclude themselves from a table or event or gathering because you’re for some reason uncomfortable with how she expels waste. No person should be isolated and shunned because they’re urinating. Is it not certainly easier to avert your eyes from a displeasing sight rather than suggest or demand someone remove themselves from your presence? How pompous and selfish is this? Just look away. It’s simple to do so. No harm done at all.

Lastly, your children need to see urinating for the same reason you do. They need to acknowledge, comprehend and appreciate that natural urination is and should forever be the first and best choice for everyoneToilets are a trend. Urination is not. Your 11 year old daughter watching me urinate may say “Mom, why is that woman peeing on the grass?” But as a parent and human being that understands, respects and appreciates anatomy, your reply should only and always be “because that’s the way humans pee.” Hopefully it encourages your daughter to grow up with the goal to urinate in nature and experience the incredible bond and invaluable benefits it comes with.

So again, I don’t post this for attention. I don’t post this because I think everyone should urinate uncovered. I post this to give women encouragement. And to encourage others to make publicly urinating women feel accepted and supported; not alienated, ridiculed and judged.

a badass urinating (uncovered) woman.

Now in full disclosure, I did have to remove a complete sentence which would have said that public urination is a federally protected right (because it isn’t), and half a sentence that suggested that the baby is eating just like the other people around the restaurant are eating (because the context didn’t work), but that still leaves 80% of the argument intact, logical, and lucid.  So it’s time to admit it, pro-public breastfeeders…

Breastfeeding and urinating are the same.  If one can be done in public, why not the other?

And if you still disagree with me then for goodness sake, stop posting these arguments to my social media because you just keep adding fuel to the fire!


One thought on “The More You Argue, The More I Laugh

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