As the (Football) World Turns

Perhaps no one has noticed, but I stopped blogging quite awhile ago.  Things change, creativity dries up, and hope curdles into a substance resembling dog shit pudding.  But through it all, I’ve maintained my passion for the sport of football.

Get this straight, I’m not a “fan” of football.  Fans blindly cheer for their own teams, acting like punks and morons when discussing the sport.  If your best comment on a sports chat room is, “Your team sucks,” then you’re a “fan” and I really hope you become interested in the sport of cricket soon so as not to pull down my beloved athletic entertainment.  And maybe die a horrible death.  Not because I hate you, but just because I want to go to your funeral and shout, “He sucked!” right as the priest is informing everyone of your charity work.

Anyways, let’s get to the important matters and record this season’s picks by our three indistinguishable experts.  I should point out, we are as statistically accurate as those pinhead former players at ESPN, plus all our content is free.

AFC West
Myself – Broncos, Raiders (haha), Chargers, Chiefs
Grand Doodad – Broncos, Chargers (in the wild card!), Chiefs, Raiders
Wild Hammer – Broncos, Chiefs, Raiders, Chargers

AFC North
Myself – Steelers, Bengals (Wild Card), Browns, Ravens
Grand Doodad – Bengals, Steelers (Wild Card), Ravens, Browns
Wild Hammer – Bengals, Ravens (Wild Card), Steelers, Browns

AFC South
Myself – Texans, Titans, Colts, Jaguars
Grand Doodad – Texans, Colts, Titans, Jaguars
Wild Hammer – Texans, Colts, Titans, Jaguars

AFC East
Myself – Patriots, Bills (Wild Card, what?!?), Dolphins, Jets
Grand Doodad – Patriots, Jets, Dolphins, Bills
Wild Hammer – Patriots, Dolphins (Wild Card), Bills, Jets

AFC Champions when all is said and done:
Myself – Steelers
Grand Doodad – Texans
Wild Hammer – Broncos

NFC West
Me – Rams, Seahawks (Wild Card), Cardinals, 49ers
GD – Seahawks (HOMER!), 49ers, Rams, Cardinals
WH – 49ers, Seahawks (Wild Card), Rams, Cardinals

NFC North
Me – Packers, Vikings, Lions, Bears
GD – Packers, Bears (Wild Card), Vikings, Lions
WH – Vikings, Lions, Bears, Packers

NFC South
Me – Panthers, Falcons (Wild Card), Saints, Buccaneers
GD – Falcons, Saints (Wild Card), Buccaneers, Panthers
WH – Saints, Buccaneers (Wild Card), Falcons, Panthers

NFC East
Me – Giants, Redskins, Eagles, Cowboys
GD – Cowboys, Eagles, Redskins, Giants
WH – Redskins, Eagles, Giants, Cowboys

NFC Champions when all is said and done:
Me – Packers
GD – Falcons
WH – Saints

And the winner of the Super Bowl in February will be…
Me – Green Bay Packers
GD – Houston Texans
WH – New Orleans Saints


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